Purpose

My mind is telling me NO

But my heart wont allow me to let go

Or

Is it my heart saying NO

And my mind saying just hold on

How can I tell the difference

Im tired of fighting

Im tired of crying

Im tired of hurting

Does this pain serve a PURPOSE

Im sick of the lies

Im losing my mind

Is this really all worth it

R u the one Im supposed to grow old with

All the arguing and hurtful words

Sleepless nights, no feeling of self worth

My eyes are flooded with streams of tears

My heart is scarred from the hurt n my fears

Im here and Im being used... but why?

Is a few moments of pleasure worth risking it all

Letting go of what you know n whos been here thru it all

The ones whos laughed thru the good times

Always been by ur side

Cried with you when u needed to cry

Pulled life out of u when u felt u would die

I must admit I havent always been the best

But thru thick n thin I stayed passing our tests

Ive always wanted what was best for you

Thru ur trials n tribulations Ive seen you come thru

So what can I give u thatll make u see my worth

Was my heart not enough, or do u need some more words

We always said nothing or no one could stop us

But truth be told, u were the one denying us

Denying us of what true love could be

You pledged ur life to me and only me

U went thru the process and signed all the papers

I wouldnt have done it if I knew this would happen later

But I know in my life u served some kind of purpose

So even thru the pain, Ill say u were worth it

Now that doesnt mean I will be here forever

Ima just try and see if u can get it together

Now if u keep playing games u will be sorry and alone

Because one day you'll look up and Ill officially be gone

Death to our Love

You were my fantasy

But those infidelities became a reality and now I'm stuck with me, just doing me

Yeah I'm doing me, this time around, but I cant help but think what u and me could be

This was real to me, but u kept my Love on E, I was always empty

Never could see why you just couldnt love me

U was a CHARM'n motherfucker like the blow pop, you blew me

Everything you said to me, had my mind in the clouds, straight gone off that Hennessy

Naw Im not drunk, but Im faded off what you did to me

Look at me

Now Im fighting to believe in a love that doesnt exist to me

My tears flowing deep, I can hardly see

Nobody told me, this would be me

Stuck in a fantasy, cuz my reality died on me

Never thought this would be me, but fuck it, it is me

Now Im striving to push forward and be the best that I can be

Without you Ill admit, my world is crazy

But Id rather be insane, than living in a dream

Fuck Love, yep its dead to me

It died when u struck me n left me clinging to my inner being

But I thank you for what youve done to me

Cuz without u I couldnt grow to be a stronger me

N I'll live to tell this story because you hurt me, but you couldnt kill me

I P.U.S.H

As I Pray Until Something Happens, I exclaim in fear cuz something is Happening. 

O God I scream, please take this away from me, cuz the pain and the burden of my problems is killing me

I try to move on and find the joy in the long run, but reality sets in as my destiny..

Whats best for me?

Yeah I wanna remain in his will, I gotta go in for the kill, knock the devil out, n let him know there is no deal

No my life isnt for sale, and my soul wont be resting in hell

Paradise is where Ill eventually be

As I live here on Earth, I remember since my day of birth

Life has never come to me easy

I kick.. and I PUSH

I scream... and I PUSH

I cry.. then I PUSH

I fall.... I gotta PUSH

O God can You hear me? Are you really truly listening, or have I just been to busy to hear you talking to me

Awww man did I miss my cue, God says "baby I been talking to you.. let me tell you once again what it is I need from you"

OK Father Im listening, my forehead is glistening, sweating and worrying cuz Im tired of the blues

Lord, I wanna give of myself, I know for me there is no one else

Who will love me unconditionally like You do

I sigh, and I take a breath, I move up one good step, then after a while I fall back 3

C'mon now fam, this isnt who I am, I keep fighting just to be able to breathe

My chest rises and falls, Im giving my all

Lord please dont take life away from me

My breathing becomes slow, I cry out "here we go" now Im clinging on to life's memories

I just wanna be happy, but then something must be happening, so peace n joy is what I daily seek

Everyday its a struggle

I feel like Im living a double.. life can be just too much for me

Although my heart beats like a racket, and I feel like just snappin

I know I gotta stop and keep Praying Until Something Happens

I PUSH